"I know water doesn't bite! What a stupid thing to say! Water doesn't have to bite you! You drown in it you moron!" -Stewie Griffin
"You know, I do not think that means what you think it means." Inigo Montoyez
Make a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day but set the man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
It's all fun and games until the other person loses their sanity.
I've got things to break, people to laugh at, objects to drool over and who knows what else.
Percussive maintenance - the art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again
A piece of cheese could come up with a plan more cunning than that.
I'm not insane... i just do whatever the voices tell me to.
i dont suffer from insanity i enjoy evry minute of it
Guys should be like lattes-rich,strong,and hot
Boys are like trees-they take 50 years to grow up.
Life isn't passing me by; it's trying to run me over.
Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.
Was that an earthquake, or did I just rock your world?
Why are the Force and duct tape the same?-
Both have a light and dark side and hold the universe together!
Don't hate yourself in the morning-sleep till noon.
You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.
I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.
I'm not so good at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
When I say LOL I'm not laughing out loud. I just have nothing better to say.
I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers.
BABY I LUV U You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you jump out a window, Ima miss your sorry ass.
I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.
"Wal-Mart, do they like, sell walls there?" - Paris Hilton
When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide.
I don't obsess! I think intensely.
Be who you are and say what you feel for those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind- Dr.Suess